


Cause maybe then.

by transgendergerard



Category: The Beatles (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual John Lennon, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Character Death, john/brian - Freeform, john/stuart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-15
Updated: 2019-03-15
Packaged: 2019-11-18 14:43:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18122375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transgendergerard/pseuds/transgendergerard
Summary: Paul knows that if John could like boys, he knew that John would be dating him, so Paul is confused when John starts dating men that aren’t him.





	Cause maybe then.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys! So this is a bit different from what I normally post. I watched the AreTheyGay video on John and Paul and it made me create the plot of this fic. I normally don't read and normally don't write for this ship, but I went into a mclennon hole after I watched that video so I thought why not write a fic for it? Ryden is basically a modern day mclennon so it shouldn't be that hard, right? Also, shout out to the people who mention mclennon in the bohemian rhapsody slash tumblr blog that I follow. Y'all also inspire this fic! 
> 
> Title of this fic is from Girl Crush covered by Harry Styles. I think you should listen to the song before reading the fic :) 
> 
> Send me prompts: www.transgendergerard.tumblr.com/ask

Paul isn’t jealous of Stuart. He isn’t. He just thinks that he should replace Stuart on bass and then maybe the band would sound better. He also thinks that maybe if Paul was the bass player and not Stuart than maybe John would pay attention to him like he used to. Because he hasn’t and it started to annoy him more than it should have. Paul thinks Stuart’s mere existence is annoying. He isn’t jealous of him. Why should he be? The most important question is since when was John into boys? And has he always been into boys that aren’t him? 

 

They’ve never really talked about who they liked, but Paul knows John is into men. That he’s queer. He’s not as sure if he’s actually been with any men physically, but he assumes John hasn’t since they haven’t done anything together. Paul knows he probably sounds crazy thinking that since John is into men, he’s of course into him as if they didn’t have other male friends that John could be into at any given time of the day. Paul just knows that he’s into men, and that he’s into John and he hopes that John somehow feels the same way that he does, but right now he knows that John is way more into Stuart than him and Paul has figured out the answer and he isn’t happy about the answer he’s come up with. 

 

John is into Stuart. And they’re together. John isn’t into Paul like Paul has always thought, and they’re not together. At least not romantically. Not in the way Paul thinks they should be. And it hurts Paul more than he wants to admit it. He’s glad homosexuality is something people don’t want to talk about because if someone were to ask Paul about how feels about John or about John and Stuart being together Paul knows he would scream and then cry or maybe do both at once. He tries to not to think about them being together much. Unless they are all in the same room as they are right now. 

 

They just got with practice in Paul’s house. His dad and brother were out doing God’s know what and they just spend the past 4 hours practicing. They finally called it quits when Pete announced that he needed to go back home. Paul was worried that George was going to follow suit and also say that he needed to leave, but thankfully he decided to stay and hang around for a bit. Paul has never been around John and Stuart with just the three of them and he doesn’t want to think about what would happen if it was the three of them. 

 

Currently, they’re in the living room and John and Stuart were the ones occupying the couch while Paul and George were sitting on the floor. Paul was trying to look at anywhere but the couch. John and Stuart were oddly cuddling at the moment and it made Paul’s head and hurt looking at them. George didn’t seem to mind though, he just continued talking to John about how they should make one of their cover songs better. John was in Stuart’s lap and Stuart’s arms were around his waist, his lips trying to distract John from George’s talking. 

Paul couldn’t help but look at the two boys on the couch. John’s attention is all on George while Stuart is looking at Paul. Like maybe if he let go of John Paul would take his place, and Paul hates it, but he’s right. He would do that. His eyes move away from Stuart and go back to looking at anything else. Mostly on the floor. John notices that Paul hasn’t been talking as much as George or Stuart and decides to ask him what’s wrong. 

“Macca, is anything wrong? You’re being mighty quiet today.” John points out. 

“I uh, yeah, I’m just not feeling good.” Paul lies. Not wanting John to find out he likes him this way. 

 

“How long have you been feeling this way? If you’ve been feeling like this all day, we would have called off practice you know.” John says. 

 

“No, I just started feeling like this around an hour ago. Probably because we practiced for so long.” Paul explains. 

 

“Yeah, we did practice for a long time. How about you go and take a nap, Macca? We’ll still be here when you wake up.” John says as he gets off of Stuart’s lap and helps Paul get up from his spot from the floor. Paul tries to not look at John and especially tries to not think about the arm John put around his waist to help him stand up. 

 

When they reach Paul’s room John tries to enter his room with him, but Paul stops him before he enters the room. 

 

“Macca, I know you’re not feeling good, but at least have me help,” John says. Paul just nods at him slowly. 

 

“No, John. I think I can take care of myself just fine. I’m not deathly ill.” Paul points out. 

 

“That doesn’t mean I don’t want to take care of you, because I do,” John says. Paul sighs. 

 

“I surely don’t feel like you feel that way about me, Lennon. If you asked me, I feel like the only person you care about is Stuart.” Way to go, Paul. Bringing the boyfriend into this mess. 

 

“What? What does Stuart have to do with anything?” John asks. Paul wants to say everything is about Stuart, but he decides to keep his mouth shut this time. 

 

“Just because I have a boyfriend now doesn’t mean I care about you less than I used too. In fact, most people would think I care about you more than my own boyfriend.” John says. 

 

“Maybe others might feel that way, but I surely don’t. In fact, right now I feel rather tired so I think I’m just going to take a nap, alone.” Paul says as he shuts the door in John’s face. Paul doesn’t see it but John puts his back against the door to try and hear what Paul is doing, but he guesses Paul really is asleep as he doesn’t hear anything so he goes downstairs to meet with George and Stuart. After Paul is sure John is gone, he cries. This is not the first time he cries over the fact John is with someone who isn’t him, but this is definitely the hardest he has cried in a long time. John just doesn’t get it. If he truly cares about Paul like he says he does, then he wouldn’t be with Stuart at all. He would be with Paul himself. But he’s not. So, Paul cries himself to sleep and dreams of a universe where he’s with John and there is no such thing as Stuart Sutcliffe. 

 

Stuart dies during the spring of next year. The doctors say it was a head injury he got from a fight he had, but knowing what happens doesn’t really matter much as now he’s gone. John, in particular, has a bad time with accepting what happened, but he doesn’t show it to anyone of course. Paul knows he’s hurting and he wishes he could do something to help him, but he doesn’t want to go over the line and have John actually hate him so he just stays quiet and do what he needs to do. Paul was already the official bassist as Stuart left the band sometime last year to continue his studies Paul thought that was the perfect time to gain back John’s attention, but it only made John wanting to hang out with Stuart more. 

 

The funeral happens but the band doesn’t go. They have found a guy, Brian Epstein, to be their real manger. He had them tour Germany and when they came back that was when they heard the news. George tried to convince John that they should go, but John says no. He doesn’t even send flowers. The band does instead, but no support comes from John as he stays back from the rest of the band and everyone else as he goes through this on his own way. It wasn’t until a week after the funeral when John and Paul got their own room while George and the new drummer Ringo share their room. John has been quite the entire week and when someone asks them questions related to Stuart it was mostly George who answers them. But as they have the rare day off and they stay in their hotel room is when John finally breaks and grieves for his ex-boyfriend. 

 

The rooms that they have each have two beds, but John and Paul have always stayed in only one of the beds until recently when John and Stuart were together. When Stuart left to go back to his studies is when Paul and John started sharing hotel beds again. Paul was lying on his stomach trying to go asleep when he started to hear faint sounds of someone crying coming from the right side of the bed. Paul opens his eyes and sighs as he stretches to turn on the lamp that’s on his left. With the light on he can easily see that’s John crying. Not as loud as he would be if Paul wasn’t asleep next time. But now that Paul is awake John notices and tries to stop crying altogether. 

 

“Johnny, what’s wrong?” Paul asks even though he knows the answer. He moves so he can see John’s face and he can see that John has been crying a lot longer than he thought. 

 

“Stuart, Paul. I was there the night he got into that bloody fight and didn’t think twice about maybe I should help him. If I had helped him, he would still be here now.” John says quietly, clearly feeling bad about everything that has happened since that night. 

 

“John, what are you going on about? What happened to Stuart wasn’t your fault. Blokes get into fights all the time; we didn’t think about how badly he could have gotten hurt. What happened that night we thought was normal boyish behavior. I’m sure if we had known the effects, he would from that fight we would have done something about it. But we didn’t. Please don’t blame this on yourself, Johnny.” Paul explains. 

 

John doesn’t reply back to Paul. He doesn’t have too. Paul knows for some people it helps them to talk about the bad thing that they went through, but that isn’t John. He would write a song about it maybe and that’s how he would talk about it, but that’s it. He doesn’t talk about his feelings with other people. He just prefers their presences more than anything. So, Paul just stays up with John that night as he continues to cry over Stuart. Paul holds John in his arms as the tears continue to go down his face. Paul tries to comfort John with a soft hand going down his back and tries to tell him encouraging words of how everything is going to be okay. Even if John doesn’t believe him. Paul thinks he’s also saying these words to himself too as it’s hard for him to see John in such state. He just hopes that he has no plane on leaving the guitarist. Only if John wants it and he hopes that will never happen. 

 

Epstein gets them a record deal towards the end of January 1962. After that his bond with John becomes the closet bond, he has with any of the boys in the band. Paul doesn’t want to think about how maybe there could be romantic feelings involved with Epstein’s relationship with John, but he can’t help but think that whenever the two are in a room together. Like right now. They’re in a meeting talking about how George Martin could give them a record deal in June, but all Paul can think about is the way John’s eyes fall on Epstein and the way he stares at him whenever he talks. John is sitting right across from Epstein with Paul on his right and Ringo is right next to Epstein and George is at the head of the table. Everyone is paying attention towards Epstein, but John’s mind seems to be thinking about other things that aren’t the new record deal. George gets John’s head out of the clouds when he calls on him. 

 

“John, did you hear what Epstein was saying or was you too busy wondering what shade of blue are his eyes?” George calls out. Paul can’t help but laugh at that, but Ringo does too so he doesn’t feel as bad. 

 

“Yes, of course, I heard what he was talking about, Harrison.” John defended himself. 

 

“Okay, then please tell me how many albums are we supposed to make while under Martin’s contract?” George says to John with a serious look. It’s silent while John tries to come up with an answer. 

 

“Um, I don’t, 4?” John questions instead of actually answering. 

 

“No, there are 6 albums in this contract and then 6 more if we want to renew it once the first one ends,” George explains. He pulls his hair in frustration. Sometimes George feels like he’s the only one that cares about the future of the band while everyone else only cares about what’s going on in the current moment. He knows that isn’t true, but it sure does feel like it when he’s the only one who pays attention in these meetings. 

 

“I think we should take a break, yeah?” Ringo breaks the silence. 

“Yeah, I think that’s a good idea. Everyone is clearly getting tired so I think we should break for the day.” Epstein says. Paul tries to act like he doesn’t see the smile that is on John’s face while he says that. 

 

Everyone goes their separate ways except for Epstein and John. Paul didn’t mean to walk the same way they were, they were walking towards the same back exist that he happened to know of. But they weren’t walking like he was. They were on the wall on the side and Epstein had his back to the wall while John is in arms. They’re clearly having a moment that foreign eyes shouldn’t be looking at, but Paul always seems to find himself in these situations. He isn’t sure what to do now. Should he continue walking and act like he didn’t see anything? He thinks that’s a bad idea because they could talk to him and he didn’t want that. So, Paul kept his back against the hallway so he can hear what the boys were saying. 

 

“so, what did you have planned for tonight, luv?” John asks Brian. He had his head cuddled up to his shoulder and Brian was busy kissing his. Paul felt like he was going to throw up by just the sight of these men being this close together. 

 

“I’m not really sure. Do you want to go out to a pub or stay in at yours?” Brian asks. Taking a break from kissing John’s neck. John whines at the loss of contact and made a quick decision so Brian can go back doing what he was doing. 

 

“Hmmm, we should go to mine, I think. We haven’t really been able to hang out just the two use lately. I just want to be with you.” John says as he kisses Brian. Paul rolls his eyes at John’s neediness, but he knows if he was John and John was Brian, he would be acting the same way. 

 

“That’s a great idea. Should we leave now before someone catches us like this?” Brian asks, trying to catch his breath. Paul laughs quietly to himself because they don’t know they’ve already been caught. 

 

“Sure. But quick question, do I look like I’ve just been fucked?” John asks. He doesn’t want people on the streets to ask him questions about what was he doing and who was he doing it with. Brian shakes his head and answers. 

 

“Nope. You have a little bit a bedhead, but nothing questionable.” Brian answers. 

 

John sighs and tries to fix his hair the best way he could as they walk out of the building. Paul lets out a loud breathe and then tries and run towards some others exist so they couldn’t run into each other. But he runs into George instead. 

 

“Woah, Woah, Macca, what are you doing? Practicing for a marathon?” Geroge laughs. Paul stops running to talk to George. 

 

“Oh, uh, no. I just ran into Brian and John and didn’t want them to notice me...” Paul tried to explain. 

 

“Oh, of course. The two lovebirds. For some reason, we don’t know they’re together, but everyone basically knows at this point, but we all know not to talk about it.” George says. 

 

“Yeah. I knew John had feelings towards Brian but I kind of hoped Brian didn’t feel the same way.” Paul hated himself as soon as he said that because now George is going to ask why he felt that way. 

 

“Why did you feel that way?” Ah, there it is. 

 

“It’s uh – it's because I like John.” Paul finally says. He’s never told this to anyone and is a little relieved it’s George who finds out first. 

 

“Oh really? I had no idea you had feelings for him, Paul.” George laughs sarcastically. 

 

“Wait you knew. How long since you’ve known?” Paul asks. 

 

“Since the early days, man. I’ve always known, but especially when John and Stuart first got together. You always tried to not look at them when they were together.” George explains. 

 

“Oh, I thought no one knew,” Paul says. 

 

“No, we all know. But like with Brian and John now, we don’t talk about it because we know the people in question don’t want it to be talked about so we keep our mouths shut.” George says. 

 

“So, does Ringo know?” Paul asks. 

 

“Yeah, he knows, but he doesn’t care or else he would have been kicked out by now.” George answers. 

 

For some reason, a warm feeling finds itself inside of Paul’s stomach. 

 

“Does that mean you don’t care about it either? You don’t care about that I and John are homosexuals?” Paul asks quietly just in case someone has walked in by now. 

 

“No, I don’t care. It’s really not my business as to who you’re with. Now I do care about when you two boys get hurt because someone thinks it’s wrong for you to like boys, but I don’t care that you do.” George says. 

 

“Thanks, George. I’m really happy to hear that. You are the first person I’ve talked to about this.” Paul confesses. 

 

‘I’m glad you felt like you could talk to me about this, Paul. Please talk to me in the future if you feel like you need to talk to someone, okay?” George asks. 

 

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Paul says as George starts to hug him tightly. They hug for a few minutes until they decided they should get going. 

 

“Were you planning on doing anything after this, by the way?” George asks as they exit the building. 

 

“Not really. I just wanted to be on my own.” Paul says. 

 

“Well, if you want you can hang out with Ringo and me. I promise we won’t kiss each other in front of you.” George jokes. 

 

“Yeah, that sounds nice actually,” Paul says. 

 

After that, he and George walk back to George’s place where Ringo was already there. They had enough fun that night that he completely forgot about Brian and John for the first time since Brian entered the picture. 

 

Paul and George become closer after Paul confesses his feelings towards George. He’s glad he at least has one person on his side even though he doesn’t plan on coming out anytime soon. John takes account of them hanging out just the two of them and takes it personally. One day after practice at Paul’s the boys wanted to go out for drinks and Paul and George decided to skip this time and stay at Paul’s this time. 

 

“You seem to be hanging with just George a lot, Mecca.” John points out that night as John got ready in Paul’s room. Paul was on his bed while John was in front of the mirror. 

 

“Yeah. What about it?” Paul asks. 

 

“It’s just strange. I didn’t know you liked boys that way.” John comments. Paul just stared at him in disbelieve. 

 

“What. What do you mean?” Paul asks. 

 

“Bloody hell, McCartney. Do you want me to spell it out for ya?” John says as he turns to face Paul. Paul nods his head yes. 

 

“You’re in love with George, you idiot! That’s why you’re hanging out with just him more and not with us.” John says. 

 

“What? No, I’m not John.” Paul says. Trying to understand how John could come to that conclusion. 

 

“Then why are you hanging out with just him?” John questions. 

 

“Because friends can hang out just by themselves, Johnny. You don’t have to be a couple to do that.” Paul says. 

 

“Ow, Paulie. That hurt.” John says. Well, you fall for every guy on the planet but I hurts way more. Paul thought but didn’t say out loud. 

 

“Well, it’s true. I don’t always have to hang out with you.” Paul wishes he didn’t say that as soon as he said it. 

 

“Oh. I know you don’t want to hang out with me and Brian, but you really don’t want to hang out with just me anymore?” John asks, with a hint of sadness in his voice that he tries to hide. 

 

“It’s just, sometimes I like to hang out with other people. You shouldn’t take this personally, Johnny.” Paul says. 

 

“Sure, sure. I get it. I promise to not ask you to go anywhere with just me from now on.” John says as he walks out the door. Paul sighs loudly and falls face first onto the bed. How did this become his life? 

 

Paul and John didn’t talk a lot after that. Only when they had to did they talk, but they were fairly quiet during practice and meetings among other things. They try to not touch each other as much as they used to. They try to be on opposite sides of a room if they could. If not, things will get awkward and blown out of portion very quickly. No one really noticed this dramatic change until George pointed it out one day during practice. 

 

“So, Paul are you and John going through a lovers tiff recently?” Ringo asks. Paul and John freeze as they put away their instruments. Paul is the one that answers. 

 

“Uh, no? Why you ask that?” Paul asks. 

 

“You guys haven’t hung out like the way you used to. I just thought something had happened between the two of you.” Ringo explains. 

 

“No. We just like to hang out with other people is all. No fighting.” Paul lies. John doesn’t say anything which is probably a good thing. He just stares at Paul and hopes he doesn’t say more than should be said. 

 

“If you say so, Paul,” Ringo says. No one else talks after that and no one hangs out with anyone else either. They just go their separate ways. Except for George. It’s always George. 

 

“What was Ringo going on about? And what’s the true reason why you and John haven’t been talking recently?” George asks as he gives Paul a tight hug knowing he needed one. 

 

“We had a fight,” Paul confesses. 

 

“About?” George asks. 

 

“He thought I was in love with you.” Paul finally says. Sacred of George’s reaction. 

 

“What? That’s crazy. Why would he say that?” George says as he sits down next to Paul on the couch. 

 

“He said it was because we started hanging out together just the two us. Apparently, when you do that that means you’re dating. At least to him, that’s what that means.” Paul explains. 

 

“I don’t want to be rude Paul, but I would never be into you that way,” George says. 

 

“I know that, George. You’re straight. But I guess John doesn’t know that.” Paul says as he pulls his knees towards his face. 

 

“Maybe he thought we are dating because of the reason you thought he was dating Stuart before he was actually dating him,” Geroge says. Paul looked at him with a confused look so George explains more. 

 

“Maybe he doesn’t want you to date me because he wants you to date him instead.” George finally says. Paul just stares. 

 

“He doesn’t like me back, George. If he liked me back, he wouldn’t be with Brian.” Paul says. 

 

“How do you know? Maybe he dates other people because he thinks you’re not into him.” George says. 

 

“That’s crazy. Even you said everyone knows I’m into him. He just hasn’t had the courage to speak up.” Paul says. 

 

“Who knows why he hasn’t told you, but sometimes the people who are always there don’t realize how we truly feel about them,” George explains. Paul just nods his head in agreement. 

 

Maybe he should tell John his true feelings. He knows John wouldn’t hate him for being queer, and he knows that deep down John wouldn’t hate him if for some reason he didn’t like him back. 

 

“I think I should tell him, George,” Paul says out loud. 

 

“Oh really?” George asks. 

 

“Yeah. I think it’s time, even though he’s still with Brian. He should know the truth at least.” Paul says. George cringes at that. Brian and John recently broke up, and everyone knows but Paul because John wants to tell him personally so that means everyone else shouldn’t talk about it. 

 

“I think he would like that, Paul.” George ends up saying. 

 

“I hope so, George. I don’t know what I would do if he reacted poorly.” Paul says. 

 

“He won’t. I promise you that.” George says. 

 

Paul figures out a way he will tell John that he likes them. He talks to George about it and he agrees that it’s a good idea. He’s going to try and get him alone one day when they all seemly agree to take a day off from practice. Then after that, he will hope for the best. He just hopes that John doesn’t actually hate him or is actually mad at him. He doesn’t know what to do if his plan fails. If John truly doesn’t like him that way and it ends their friendship forever. 

 

One day after that the boys were over at Paul’s house once again but this time just the four of them. Until Ringo and George decided at the same time that they should leave to attend some more important matters. 

 

“I think I should go now too then,” John says as he gets up from the couch but Paul stops him. 

 

“Wait, I need to tell you something before you go,” Paul says. 

 

“I need to tell you something too, Actually,” John says. 

 

“Wait to do this in my room? Just in case someone walks in.” Paul wondered. 

 

“Yeah, yeah that’s a good idea,” John says nervously. 

 

John has never been this nervous while he walks to Paul’s room. Paul finally opens the door and let John go in first. Paul sits on his bed while John finds a chair to sit on. 

 

“I’m in love with you - “ 

“I broke up with Brian - “They try to say at the same time but neither of them could hear what they were trying to say. 

 

“I’m sorry. Should we try this again, but slower?” John asks. Paul nods. 

 

“Who should go first?” Paul asks. 

 

“I want to go first. If that’s okay with you.” John answers. Paul just nods and lets him go with what he has to say. 

 

“I broke up with Brian. Well, technically he broke up with me, but we’re not together anymore is what I’m trying to say.” John explains. 

 

“Oh, John, I’m so sorry. I know how much you loved him.” Paul tries to be honest with John but he’s just trying to be what John needs right now like always. 

 

“No, don’t be sorry, Paulie. He knew I was... still is in love with someone else.” John says. 

 

Paul is scared because what if this person isn’t him? What will he do after that? 

 

“Then who are you in love with, Johnny? Whoever they are I’m sure they would love you back.” Paul says, trying to prepare what is going to happen next. 

 

But John doesn’t say anything else, instead, he gets up from his chair and walks closer to Paul. He puts his hands on top of Paul’s waist and kisses him. Paul doesn’t know what to think right now. He tries to think but all he can think about is how soft John’s lips are on his and how perfect they are in between his. They stop kissing when they need to breathe. 

 

“Does that answer your question, McCartney?” John says with a wink. He tries to make his breathing go back to normal but Paul lets out a quiet whine. He can’t believe this. He can’t believe this is what happens. That Brian broke up with John and that John is in love with him too. That he kissed him and it was everything he thought it would be and more. 

 

“Yeah, yeah it does, Lennon,” Paul says with a smile. He gives John a small kiss to his nose and John giggles in return. This is the John he is in love with. The John he has missed since he started dating other people that aren’t him. This man is in love with him. 

 

“Wait, Paul, were you going to say something too?” John asks quietly as he runs his fingers down Paul’s cheek. Paul just purrs like a cat instead of actually saying anything. 

 

“What I was going to say is something you know now, but I’m in love with you, too, Johnny.” Paul finally says after all this time. 

 

“Would you hate me if I told you I already knew this? Long before all of this happened?” John asks. 

 

“No, because George told me everyone already knew about my huge crush on you, but no one wanted to talk about it,” Paul explains. John nods and kisses him again. This time harder and with more passion. He knocks Paul down to the middle of the bed and makes out with him like they’re teenagers again. Paul’s hands are on John’s shoulders and John’s are removing Paul’s shirt from his body. Paul helps him to remove his shirt and after that John’s hands are all over Paul’s chest while he’s kissing him roughly. 

 

This is something they should already be doing. They should be already used to this, but they’re not. Which for some reason Paul loves the fact that they’re just now doing this. For a while no one talks. They just kiss each other and get familiar with each other's bodies. Paul shivers whenever John’s lips go down lower, but he knows they’re not going to do that right now. They’re not ready for that right now and that’s fine. Paul is just happy that they get to have this. That his planned work and that they’re here finally. He’s over the moon. 

 

He doesn’t know what time it was when he finally woke up. After their intense make-out session they quickly fell asleep in each other’s arms. Now they’ve separated and John is asleep on his tummy on Paul’s right and Paul is on his back on the left side of the bed. 

 

Paul rubs his hands across his face to try and wake himself up. It’s still early, he thinks. The sun is barely up. He should probably go back to bed, but he doesn’t because of the man next to him in bed. 

He moves himself to where his body was matching John’s expect he was on his side and not on his stomach so he can really look at John. They haven’t properly shared a bed like this in years. Not since when everything started. This is just nice. It just feels nice to wake up next to the man he loves and he knows he loves him back. It just feels nice knowing this is going to be his new normal to wake up next to John like this. It just feels really really nice. After everything they’ve been through, they can go back to their normal and make it even better. 

 

“You’re already up, Mecca?” John says, in his perfect morning voice that no one else gets to hear but him now. He stretches his arms and moves so he can look at Paul instead of his pillow. 

 

“Yeah, I guess. It’s probably because the sun is coming up and was bothering me.” Paul says. John just hums and moves so he can be in Paul’s arms again. 

 

“And what are you doing, Johnny?” Paul laughs. 

 

“Getting comfortable,” John says. 

 

John made it where his head was on Paul’s chest and Paul’s hands were around his waist holding him tight. 

 

“Are you falling back to sleep?” Paul asks John. 

 

“No, just wanted to be closer to you,” John says. Paul smiles at his answer. He kisses John’s forehead in return. 

 

“I’m sorry to bring this up this early, but what are we now, Johnny?” Paul asks. He’s hoping he’s not asking the wrong thing. 

 

“What do you want us to be, Paulie?” John asks back. 

 

Boyfriends. Paul wants them to be boyfriends. 

 

“Um, I kind of want to be your boyfriend, John. If that’s okay.” Paul answers softly. 

 

“Then we’re boyfriends now,” John says as he falls back asleep. 

 

Paul can’t believe how easy this was. He can’t believe that he’s in bed with John and that John’s asleep in his arms. That they’re boyfriends. That after everything. This is where they are and it’s fine. They’re fine now. Just like how Paul told John all those nights ago. That they were going to be okay. And they are.


End file.
